Santa Claus: Fascist Vigilante or Iron-fisted Voyeur?

Much has been made of this man, but not enough is known.

Santa Claus (for those unfamiliar with him) is a man who lives in the North Pole, and rewards conformity with toys, and punishes disobedience with humiliation and lumps of coal. Such a punishment would not affect grown adults to any great extent - it would just result in disappointment and possible resentment, but the idea becomes far more disturbing when one discovers the target of his manipulations: Children.

Young, innocent (and impressionable), and given the raised expectations and anticipation the prospect of not receiving an expected toy to a child is akin to a heroin addict being denied his/her fix - or possibly closer to waking up one morning to the discovery that one's house has been cleaned out by burglars during the night. Furthermore a child will have to face his fellows in a school-yard who are all enjoying the toys they received, and will be forced to admit that due to his or her unorthodox behaviour, all he or she was considered fit for was the fabled lump of coal.

The threat of such humiliation and devastation to one's child is - understandably - too much for some parents. In reality, even the brattiest children are far too innocent to commit any act of what could be considered evil by any stretch of the imagination. But Santa Claus does not consider this to be so, and has an unrealistically black-and-white "bad or good" system. This has lead parents of the so called "bad" children to cover their own failures by telling them that Santa Claus does not even exist, and to buy the presents themselves to preempt Mr. Claus' judgement.

But that would all be well and good in the normal run of things - indeed, one could argue that Mr. Claus is under no obligation to provide toys to any children, and that we should be grateful for his generosity, until one considers the more sinister, Orwellian side of this arrangement.

Santa Claus is watching you and yours - especially your children - all the time. There is no action one can take that is not under the microscope of this self-appointed moral controller. Indeed the song, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, by Haven Gillespie and J. Fred Coots warns of threats considered despicable even to Michael Jackson (he and his family reiterated the warning by covering the song at a later date).

The song warns,

He knows when you've been sleeping / He knows when you're awake / He knows when you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness' sake!

Note the tone of fear in the lyrics as they explain that there is no escape from Santa Claus' prying eyes and imply that one has no choice but to be "good", or else!

The song also outlines examples of what is considered bad, which illustrates my point about his unreasonable moral standards - indeed, crying, a natural tool evolved to allow children to warn parents of problems before they can take care of them themselves, is considered to be immoral by Santa Claus. When one considers that crying is an almost involuntary reaction to a child when they feel pain, frustrated or depressed, one can only assume that one is required to suppress all negative emotion or be convicted of thoughtcrime as Orwell described it.

An image of a jolly, friendly fellow has been painted by the Mass Media, which suggests he may have friends in high-places (indeed, his links with corporate giant, Coca Cola are incontravertible). He is dressed in a warm brightly coloured uniform, with an old, but not too wrinkly face. This combined with the facial hair is portrays an image of wisdom, a technique similar to one used by Stalin, but the fact he is overweight and laughing is to show that while wise, he is not too sensible or stodgy to be attractive to children. Without this image, and the fact that he resides in the North Pole, (a place free from the laws of any nation), he would never be able to continue his activities without being checked, audited, or even asked to explain what he does with the vast amounts information he receives or who he gives it to.

In all honesty, would you allow any fully grown man to watch your children all the time and promise annual toys to them in exchange for their obedience, were he not the embodiment of jolliness and friendliness that is portrayed to you by the television, movies, magazines and advertisements?